So, sitting on a 15 hour flight recently I watched some schmaltzy movie whose title I forget. But there was a line in there which said "The power in any relationship lies with the one who cares less. But power is not happiness which is not joy". This really caught my attention, and I spent much of the remaining flight mulling it over.
Our life's experience is about relationship. Some people have few relationships and live in loneliness. Others have many shallow relationships and live in fragility. Still others find deep committed relationship, and know strength. Then there are too many relationships that abuse ... physically and / or mentally. The obvious cases we know about, but there are also the all too common relationship where one person uses the other - in dating, steady relationships, the workplace, families ... How does one person gain power over another? And here the movie line becomes relevant: "The power in any relationship lies with the one who cares less". If I care about my relationship with someone, yet they have little care for me, then I give them power over me. For in my caring I would do nothing to hurt the relationship, because I care about the survival of the relationship. Instead I will do all I can to please them, and to have their attention on me. Conversely, the one who cares little for me has power, because I will not harm them, but they can treat me however they please, to their own ends and purposes (think of the movie "The Devil wears Prada"). So how about God? Does that mean I have power over God? Because certainly I care less for God than God cares for me (In the Christian religion, by definition I care less. In all other religions, it's the god that cares less ... another of those distinctive attributes of Christianity). Well, one has to ask the question, power to what end? We're talking relationship ... so power over how the relationship is conducted, experienced, and grown. So yes, of course I have power over God. He will do just about anything to draw me into relationship with him, so I have all the power of "NO" at my disposal. Of course, the flip side is that when I use this form of power, my humanity is lessened. My choice, your choice.
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June 2015
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