If leadership grumbled

In the 5 churches where I have been a member since I became a Christian, the one commonality has been the inevitable grumbles that emerge from the congregation.  Occasionally its legitimate, most often its casual and unthinking throw-away lines about something that doesn't sit well with a persons preferences, and occasionally it will blow up into a crisis over (perhaps) a real issue of concern.

The Bible says to do everything without grumbling, so when an occasional grumble (from myself included) comes along I usually think "Ok, not a good one, but then none of us are perfect".

What if the leadership grumbled out loud?  Well, good leadership won't.  But I sometimes wonder, as I sit in church and look around, what might the leadership grumble about if I was able to magically remove their spiritual grumble filter. 

Perhaps we might hear things like one of the following, which draw on my experiences of 40 years of church participation (with my apologies for any over-generalizations, and I'm certainly not suggesting that any one of these are pertinent to you, the reader!):

• Why does everyone always fill the church from the back row while trying to sit as far away as they can from everyone else?
  
• Only half the people actually seem to sing, why have the other half even bothered coming?
• Good to see so-and-so here today, it must be their once-a-month attendance.  Why won't people commit to being regular, to live as community instead of pretending to be community?
• I wish that when we ask for volunteers, there would be volunteers.
• So if I guess the average individual income of our church is probably around X.  Now, if I assume everybody tithed then 10% of X would be Y, which is, let me see, hmmm, about 3-4 times our annual budget!
• Jesus worked from a position of giving in compassion; seems like churches work from a perspective of getting from an organization (ouch).
• Prayer meetings: perhaps we better call them "awkward-silence-gatherings-for-the-faithful-few"?
• You say the music was too loud?  Well, I suggest you go sit further towards the back.  Oh sorry, you're already at the back.
• Sermon was too long?  My apologies, maybe you could read the bible passage and then tell me what you think I should have said?
• Worship was too long?  Ah, well, umm.  Sorry, I'm confused.  You said too long?  You do know what heaven is going to be about, don't you?
  
• I'm created to worship, first and foremost.  So why did God give us such big bottoms to sit on all the time?
  
• etc.

Sigh.  Sorry.  Fortunately God is building a bride of perfection for himself, and I guess all that beauty preparation is inevitably going to be a somewhat painful process.